Just Another Day at the Office
by TheLittleFreak
Summary: Arthur Weasley...does anyone really know what he does at work? Well, I do, and now you can too(provided you read and review this fic)!
1. Tiny Office

*a.n* I started wondering what Arthur Weasley actually did at work—when he's not busy escorting potential criminals, that is (snigger), so I went and wrote a little dialogue to ease my suffering. Now, if only I could say that I own the characters. . . but I can't. Sad, ain't it?

_*poof into Arthur's extremely cramped office*_

"Ow! You really should move that desk, Perkins, I Apparate onto it every day and it's really quite painful."

"Sorry, Arthur, but there's no room for me to _move this blasted thing!_ Maybe you should aim for the coffee room or something."

"I'll do that, thank you very much. Now, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, there's a few articles from last night's raid that we need to tend to in the in-box right there, and our report needs to be submitted, it's already late, then we're scheduled to make a visit to the Malfoy Manor—you know Lucius has been named as a Death Eater?" 

"oh-HO! You don't say, you don't say. . .well then, what are we waiting for? Hand me that thingy and let's get cracking!"

"Right. What _is_ this thingy, anyway?"

"What do those Muggles call it?. . .oh, yes, it's called a toaster. What's wrong with it?"

" Dunno. I'll have to poke around it a bit to find out. . ."

_*snapping sound*_

**_"That toaster just bit me!"_**

"Oh, calm down, Perkins, it's not a killer. You shouldn't have stuck you hand into one of those little holes. . .after all, things don't come here when they **aren't**dangerous."

"Yes. Right. You take it."

"Oh, all right, you big baby. Here—these aren't dangerous, they're only mittens."

 __

_*strangling noise*_

"Ok. . .I guess they are dangerous. . . c'mon, you stupid mittens, let him GO!"

_*gasp*_

_*pant pant*_

"NOT DANGEROUS!?!?"

"How was I supposed to know they would try to strangle you?"

"Fine. Luckily, there isn't much left—only this watchamacallit. . ."

"Ooh, it's got a plug! Let's plug it in!"

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"we don't have eckel—eckelec—"

"Eckletricity."

"Yeah. That." 

"Sorry. I forgot. So, I'll be taking this home…"

_*stuff stuff*_

"Then we're done here. . ."

"Good. I can turn in the report, Perkins, I have it right here. Just relax. . .take those Muggle things down to Charm-Stripping, I'll be right back."

"oh, goody, leave me with the **easy**job. . ."

_*poof into Fudge's office, which is considerably larger*_

"Oh, hello, Weasley. I don't have much time: do you have that report?"

"Yes, sir. But if I could take a second, I'd like to ask you if I—"

"No."

"No, sir?"

"That's what I said."

"Oh. Well, then, I'll be going."

"You do that."

*_whisper nasty things about Fudge under his breath*_

"What was that, Weasley?"

"Nothing, sir."

*_poof back into the extremely cramped office, still whispering nasty things about Fudge under his breath*_

_"Ow!"_

"What's that, Weasley?"

"Oh, I tried to get a bigger office out of that bungler, but he didn't even let me finish."

"Figures. Maybe you should let me ask from now on. I wasn't in the Order when Fudgehead was fighting it, he won't have a grudge against me."

"Maybe, maybe not. You ready to go, Perkins?"

"Yep. I even got out the big sacks—it **is** the Malfoys, after all."

"Good. Let's go."

*_poof with Perkins to the front gate of the Malfoy Manor*_

*a.n*  I'll just leave you hanging here. . .what will Arthur and Perkins find in there? Is Lucius Malfoy even home? Wil poor Perkins be the victim of a bunny slipper attack? You'll need to review this first, then read chapter two to find out! 


	2. Malfoy Manor

***a.n* when we last left our intrepid (I might be stretching to call them intrepid, but oh well) duo, they were about to visit the Malfoy Manor and look for Interesting Artifacts for taking away.  What's in store for them?…well, stop reading the A.N like a bunch of idiots and find out!**

**_*_**_knocking noise*_

"Hello? Mr. Malfoy? Is anyone home?"

_*creaking door_*

"Oh, hello, Ms. Malfoy. May we come in?"

"Weasley. Perkins. What are you doing here. At my house?"

"No need to look down you nose at us, madam, you know exactly what we're here for. Your husband's an evil Dark Wizard and we've been charged to clean out anything dangerous. Now, _may we come in?"_

"Fine."

"Perkins, you look over the sitting room, I'll be in the kitchen."

"Right."

*_various poking around at things*_

"What the—!"

"What's wrong, Arthur?"

"Oh—hee hee hee—nothing, it's just—snigger—I found some bunny slippers."

"What? HERE? In the MALFOY HOUSE? Ok, this I _have_ to see."

"Awww…they're so _cute! _ Try them on, Perkins, they look like your size…"

*_various growling and snapping sounds as the bunny slippers savage Perkins' feet*_

"AAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! GET THEM OFF ME GET THEM OFF ME GET THEM OFF MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"PERKINS,  HOLD STILL, YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!"

*_growl growl snarl*_

_*struggle struggle*_

"C'mon, you, get off him…"

*_pop pop*_

"Perkins, you can stop screaming, they're off."

"WELL, MY FEET ARE STILL MANGLED AND BLEEDING AND IT BLOODY WELL **_HURTS!"_**

"Well, Heal them yourself. I have to put these little buggers into a bag so they won't hurt anyone else…"

*_struggle struggle stuff stuff  pant pant*_

"There. They're in. You Healed yet?"

"NO…"

"Then stop pouting and get it done, we have a lot of work to do."

*_more poking around*_

"Hmm…I wonder if they still have any of You-Know-Who's school things lying around."

"It's likely—ow! But they wouldn't—ow—be just sitting there, like those—ow—damned slippers...ow…"

"Oh, all right already, I'll Heal your stinking feet."

*_Poof*_

"But anyway, I agree. However, my son told me about a certain secret         hidey-hole underneath their drawing room that I've been dying to get into…shall we?"

"Are you kidding? What are we waiting around HERE for, Arthur? Off to the drawing room!"

***a.n* and once again, I'll leave you in pee-your-pants suspense. Just WHAT will our heroes find in the Secret Hole in the Malfoy's drawing room? And whose Bunny-Slippers-from-Hell were those? Stay tuned, I'll tell you…after I go take a nap. **


End file.
